Musicians are frequently thought of as being ego-centric and self-absorbed. The stereotypical opera singer sums up this sentiment when we picture him singing "mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" with gusto. We may hear, "It's all about me-me-me!" The humble singer is no singer at all, or so we think. Tall posture, unwavering energy, and confident notes are surely signs that someone is "full of himself". The only way a singer can get ahead is to be hard-shelled and ruthless- competitive and not taking slack from anyone. The diva is feared by even the conductor. She can, with one look, dominate the stage and get what she wants from the musical experience- her tempo, her dynamic- she does not apologize. But the days of the diva are fading, as directors and conductors are beginning to realize that people can be talented and cooperative: everyone is happy and the music is better served. Service. It may be the last thing we think of in regards to music and performance. But it should be the first.
The act of music-making and performing is for whom? While performers may take pleasure in singing and being on stage, ultimately, if there's no audience, there's no performance. Therefore, the audience must be kept in mind at all times. It is the performer's job to give the gift of music and the audience's job to enjoy and be enriched. In this way, the singer becomes a servant- not only to the audience, but to the music. Being a servant to the music requires several things. The performer must first be comfortable enough with technique that they can, while on stage, "forget" about it- let it go. Trust that it is there and working and fueling a great performance. Their mind should become preoccupied with the meaning of the music, which demands a knowledge of text and context. Linked with this is the ability to "feel" the music- which is expressed through dynamics, phrasing, articulation- all of the things that make up great technique, but with that added "spark" that keeps it from being mechanical or robotic. If a singer allows thoughts of technique or even audience acceptance "will they like it?" take over, they are serving neither the music or the audience.
But it is not just the stereotypical "mi-mi-mi" opera singer who can fall into this trap of preoccupation. It can also be the well-meaning, yet insecure singer who may not be able to get past the technique and audience thoughts. And the very thing keeping them there is really, fear. Let us not confuse fear with humility. True humility lies not in outward appearance or perceptions- it is simply the singer's awareness of their strengths, weaknesses, motivations, and Source of their gifts. Here, I will add in a spiritual aspect, because we are all spiritual, regardless of our "religious" beliefs. For me personally, I believe the Giver of my gifts is God. He is the source and inspiration from which my talents flow. But in order to be His "instrument" and let His light truly shine forth, I have to get out of the way. The fear which hinders my "letting go" and giving myself to the music and audience also hinders His work in me. Therefore, worry is a very selfish act.
True humility flourishes when one places all confidence in the Giver of the gift. In reflecting on the goodness of God, we see both our unworthiness and our Divine worth all at once. We are fragile humans, children of God all at once. We can then go into performances with the confidence that we have a bit of the Divine within us. We are not alone, and our identity does not rest on merely being a singer or performer. With this realization, fear is banished and we realize that we do not stake our success on recognition or approval or praise from others. We no longer fear "screwing up" because we have been set free to create. It is no longer our interest we look after- so what if we make a mistake? If it's not for ourselves that we perform, then how can we be harmed by a bad performance?
We can make a mistake full-knowing that it is not the carefully guarded performance that moves people. No one was ever remembered for "getting every note right". We no longer have to tiptoe through performances and take the safe route. We have been empowered by the Divine within and can therefore aim for a higher reality: serving the audience through giving ourselves entirely to the music. And when this happens, true music is created and the Giver of the gifts is served.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Count Your Blessings
It's so easy in life to give up, be negative, and wish we could turn back time...
Yesterday, I was feeling fearful, frustrated, and frenzied as I left campus to "exercise my civic duty". When I got to the polling place, I was re-routed to a nearby elementary school that was in my precinct. Thinking I knew where it was, as I had walked by there many times before, I did not get clear directions. I became increasingly frustrated as I realized I was wasting precious study time, and that by the time I got to the polls, a long line would await me. I circled the neighborhood several times, but knew that I needed directions to get there. I called my sister, but her internet was down, so she couldn't help. I told her it was no big deal, laughed it off, and decided to try to find a convenience store and ask for directions. I restarted my car and eased out of the residential area I had been parked in. But I was too early. I put on the gas as I was closing my cell phone with my right hand. The next instant, I looked up and realized that I was on a very narrow street with a wide car and way too close to the car on the left. BOOOOOOOOOM! I just knew I had destroyed the parked car. My heart raising, I got out of my vehicle, still idling. A closeby neighbor had witnessed the incident and said "Bummer". Yes, bummer. Luckily, I had only ripped off the car's side view mirror, not demolished the door or anything. I left a note with my name and number on it secured in the mirror itself, and when I went back to my car, I had identical damage on the passenger's side. I called my sister, who convinced me to go back home, call my insurance company, and not worry about voting- Texas would carry McCain. And it did.
I could wallow in regret and anger toward myself for my carelessness and hurriedness. But instead, I look past this relatively small incident with insight into the future. Okay, so my insurance premium may go up slightly. Bummer. But this incident was a wakeup call that I have been developing unsafe driving patterns when I'm not actually on highways and busy streets. I have been feeling way too "safe" pulling out of parking lots, going down residential streets, and such. Although these situations may not demand as much concentration, they still demand focus and attention on the road. One split second is long enough for something to go awry.
So instead of looking at the inconvenience, the bad side of this, I thank God. I thank him that that side view mirror was not a child that I would not have seen until it was too late. Mirrors can be replaced, people can't. This incident may have occurred in order to remind me to slow down, pay attention, never be in a hurry. If I had continued developing poor driving patterns, my very life or others may have been in jeopardy. This incident was a gentle nudge from God to protect me from harm in the future.
I take several things from this happening. 1) I am a person who easily feels overwhelmed and becomes distracted. But I must set my emotions aside when I step into the driver's seat. I cannot drive emotionally. 2) Am I really saving time if something does happen on the road? 3) All driving, whether it is in a parking lot, on a residential street, or access road, requires my undivided attention. 4) I am blessed.
My disappointment over the driving incident was, of course, magnified with Obama's landslide victory. I do fear for our country, and I am gravely saddened by the reality that pro-life legislation may not see the light of day for at least four more years. This is truly a man with a hardened heart toward the unborn, as his voting record has shown. How can we as a nation speak about "hope and change" when we've mercilessly slaughtered at least a fourth of our nation under the protection of the federal law? It's barbarism.
But once again, I realize that God is in control. And even though I can't see or understand His plan in its entirety, I know that He will work something through this presidency in order to bring about good.
Yesterday, I was feeling fearful, frustrated, and frenzied as I left campus to "exercise my civic duty". When I got to the polling place, I was re-routed to a nearby elementary school that was in my precinct. Thinking I knew where it was, as I had walked by there many times before, I did not get clear directions. I became increasingly frustrated as I realized I was wasting precious study time, and that by the time I got to the polls, a long line would await me. I circled the neighborhood several times, but knew that I needed directions to get there. I called my sister, but her internet was down, so she couldn't help. I told her it was no big deal, laughed it off, and decided to try to find a convenience store and ask for directions. I restarted my car and eased out of the residential area I had been parked in. But I was too early. I put on the gas as I was closing my cell phone with my right hand. The next instant, I looked up and realized that I was on a very narrow street with a wide car and way too close to the car on the left. BOOOOOOOOOM! I just knew I had destroyed the parked car. My heart raising, I got out of my vehicle, still idling. A closeby neighbor had witnessed the incident and said "Bummer". Yes, bummer. Luckily, I had only ripped off the car's side view mirror, not demolished the door or anything. I left a note with my name and number on it secured in the mirror itself, and when I went back to my car, I had identical damage on the passenger's side. I called my sister, who convinced me to go back home, call my insurance company, and not worry about voting- Texas would carry McCain. And it did.
I could wallow in regret and anger toward myself for my carelessness and hurriedness. But instead, I look past this relatively small incident with insight into the future. Okay, so my insurance premium may go up slightly. Bummer. But this incident was a wakeup call that I have been developing unsafe driving patterns when I'm not actually on highways and busy streets. I have been feeling way too "safe" pulling out of parking lots, going down residential streets, and such. Although these situations may not demand as much concentration, they still demand focus and attention on the road. One split second is long enough for something to go awry.
So instead of looking at the inconvenience, the bad side of this, I thank God. I thank him that that side view mirror was not a child that I would not have seen until it was too late. Mirrors can be replaced, people can't. This incident may have occurred in order to remind me to slow down, pay attention, never be in a hurry. If I had continued developing poor driving patterns, my very life or others may have been in jeopardy. This incident was a gentle nudge from God to protect me from harm in the future.
I take several things from this happening. 1) I am a person who easily feels overwhelmed and becomes distracted. But I must set my emotions aside when I step into the driver's seat. I cannot drive emotionally. 2) Am I really saving time if something does happen on the road? 3) All driving, whether it is in a parking lot, on a residential street, or access road, requires my undivided attention. 4) I am blessed.
My disappointment over the driving incident was, of course, magnified with Obama's landslide victory. I do fear for our country, and I am gravely saddened by the reality that pro-life legislation may not see the light of day for at least four more years. This is truly a man with a hardened heart toward the unborn, as his voting record has shown. How can we as a nation speak about "hope and change" when we've mercilessly slaughtered at least a fourth of our nation under the protection of the federal law? It's barbarism.
But once again, I realize that God is in control. And even though I can't see or understand His plan in its entirety, I know that He will work something through this presidency in order to bring about good.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Seeking True Feminism: Esther
What scripture tells us: "This girl, who was also known as Esther, was lovely in form and features" (Esther 2:7). We also know she is a virgin, as Esther 2:1 implies.
The story: The king has grown disenchanted with his disobedient wife, so he is in search of a new one. Among the virgins summoned to the king's courts is Esther. She only takes what is necessary with her when she goes to visit the king, and she never reveals her kinship, as her cousin and guardian Mordecai has instructed. After winning the favor of everyone she meets, including the king's, she is crowned queen.
What we can learn: Esther travels lightly. She chooses not to be burdened by unnecessary things. We can look at this one of two ways: 1) let go of the past and do not let it weigh you down and 2) do not be materialistic. Holding on to ill feelings others have caused us or staying angry at ourselves for past sins only inhibit us to carry out God's will. Similarly, temporal objects can get in our way and junk up our lives and our mission.
The plot thickens: In the meantime, Mordecai has overheard gatesmen plotting the king's assasination, and he immediately sends word to Esther. She, of course, relays the information to her husband, who gives the credit to Mordecai. Later on, Mordecai refuses to pay homage to Hamang, one of the king's officials. Yet another gatesman reports Mordecai's disobedience to Haman, who angrily decides to do away with Mordecai and his people, the Jews.
When Mordecai learns of this plot, he tears his clothes, puts on sackcloth, and begins fasting and weeping. Esther is "greatly distressed" when she hears of her cousin's suffering, and she has clothes sent to him immediately.
What we can learn: Esther, in all her glorious queenship, has not forgotten her humble beginnings. She has only grown in empathy and readiness to help out her kinsman. May we, in every walk and state of life, be free and generous in serving others any way we can.
But wait...there's more: Mordecai, of course, has word sent to Esther that she must beg and plead on the Jews' behalf. Esther responds that to do so would put her life in jeopardy, for those whom the king does not officially summon will be put to death by law, unless he extends the golden sceptre. Realizing that she will die if she remains silent, because she is a Jew, Esther bravely decides to go and speak with the King, uninvited.
But first, Esther sends word to Mordecai to tell the people to fast and pray, and she and her maids will do the same.
What we can learn: Esther practices what she preaches. Notice she holds true to her word. She, along with Mordecai and even her maids, fasts in preparation for the meeting with her King. Prayer should always preceed our every action if we are to gain the necessary strength and graces we need for this journey.
But that's not all: Then, Esther approaches King Xerxes. He is pleased to see her, and spares her life by holding out the golden sceptre. She says,"If it pleases the king...let the king, together with Haman, come today to a banquet I have prepared for him'" Esther 5:4. The banquet is prepared, and the King asks what she wants. She says again, "'My petition and my request is this: If the king regards me with favor and if it pleases the king to grant my petition and fulfill my request, let the king and Haman come tomorrow to the banquet I will prepare for them. Then I will answer the king's question'" (Esther 5:7-8).
Finally, at the second banquet, Esther says, "''If I have found favor with you, O king, and if it pleases your majesty, grant me my life—this is my petition. And spare my people—this is my request'" (Esther 7:3). Then Esther reveals Haman's plot to destroy Mordecai, her kinsman, and the Jews. Haman is done away with, but yet Esther is still concerned for the Jews, who are still at risk due to Haman's existing plan.
This time, Esther pleads with the king, falling down at his feet and weeping. She speaks, "'If it pleases the king," she said, "and if he regards me with favor and thinks it the right thing to do, and if he is pleased with me, let an order be written overruling the dispatches that Haman...devised'" (Esther 8:5).
What we can learn: Esther's got guts. She approaches the king, knowing that her life is at risk. She also shows tremendous humility before the king in the way she speaks to him. Check out the bolded words above. And her persistence. Time and again, she keeps patiently pleading with the King for her own and her people's deliverance. Notice the last time she approaches him, she falls down at his feet and weeps. May we humbly fall before our King in all our trials, and joys, for that matter. And may we never grow weary to petition and ask his pardon and help.
The story: The king has grown disenchanted with his disobedient wife, so he is in search of a new one. Among the virgins summoned to the king's courts is Esther. She only takes what is necessary with her when she goes to visit the king, and she never reveals her kinship, as her cousin and guardian Mordecai has instructed. After winning the favor of everyone she meets, including the king's, she is crowned queen.
What we can learn: Esther travels lightly. She chooses not to be burdened by unnecessary things. We can look at this one of two ways: 1) let go of the past and do not let it weigh you down and 2) do not be materialistic. Holding on to ill feelings others have caused us or staying angry at ourselves for past sins only inhibit us to carry out God's will. Similarly, temporal objects can get in our way and junk up our lives and our mission.
The plot thickens: In the meantime, Mordecai has overheard gatesmen plotting the king's assasination, and he immediately sends word to Esther. She, of course, relays the information to her husband, who gives the credit to Mordecai. Later on, Mordecai refuses to pay homage to Hamang, one of the king's officials. Yet another gatesman reports Mordecai's disobedience to Haman, who angrily decides to do away with Mordecai and his people, the Jews.
When Mordecai learns of this plot, he tears his clothes, puts on sackcloth, and begins fasting and weeping. Esther is "greatly distressed" when she hears of her cousin's suffering, and she has clothes sent to him immediately.
What we can learn: Esther, in all her glorious queenship, has not forgotten her humble beginnings. She has only grown in empathy and readiness to help out her kinsman. May we, in every walk and state of life, be free and generous in serving others any way we can.
But wait...there's more: Mordecai, of course, has word sent to Esther that she must beg and plead on the Jews' behalf. Esther responds that to do so would put her life in jeopardy, for those whom the king does not officially summon will be put to death by law, unless he extends the golden sceptre. Realizing that she will die if she remains silent, because she is a Jew, Esther bravely decides to go and speak with the King, uninvited.
But first, Esther sends word to Mordecai to tell the people to fast and pray, and she and her maids will do the same.
What we can learn: Esther practices what she preaches. Notice she holds true to her word. She, along with Mordecai and even her maids, fasts in preparation for the meeting with her King. Prayer should always preceed our every action if we are to gain the necessary strength and graces we need for this journey.
But that's not all: Then, Esther approaches King Xerxes. He is pleased to see her, and spares her life by holding out the golden sceptre. She says,"If it pleases the king...let the king, together with Haman, come today to a banquet I have prepared for him'" Esther 5:4. The banquet is prepared, and the King asks what she wants. She says again, "'My petition and my request is this: If the king regards me with favor and if it pleases the king to grant my petition and fulfill my request, let the king and Haman come tomorrow to the banquet I will prepare for them. Then I will answer the king's question'" (Esther 5:7-8).
Finally, at the second banquet, Esther says, "''If I have found favor with you, O king, and if it pleases your majesty, grant me my life—this is my petition. And spare my people—this is my request'" (Esther 7:3). Then Esther reveals Haman's plot to destroy Mordecai, her kinsman, and the Jews. Haman is done away with, but yet Esther is still concerned for the Jews, who are still at risk due to Haman's existing plan.
This time, Esther pleads with the king, falling down at his feet and weeping. She speaks, "'If it pleases the king," she said, "and if he regards me with favor and thinks it the right thing to do, and if he is pleased with me, let an order be written overruling the dispatches that Haman...devised'" (Esther 8:5).
What we can learn: Esther's got guts. She approaches the king, knowing that her life is at risk. She also shows tremendous humility before the king in the way she speaks to him. Check out the bolded words above. And her persistence. Time and again, she keeps patiently pleading with the King for her own and her people's deliverance. Notice the last time she approaches him, she falls down at his feet and weeps. May we humbly fall before our King in all our trials, and joys, for that matter. And may we never grow weary to petition and ask his pardon and help.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Seeking True Feminism: Rebekah
What scripture tells us: "The girl was very beautiful, and a virgin" (Genesis 24:16).
The story: Abraham sends his servant to seek a wife for Isaac from Abraham's homeland.
When he arrives there after several days' journey, Rebekah is at the well, drawing water for her family. As unglamorous and mundane as the task was, she was faithful to her work. Rebekah notices Abraham's servant, who has just completed a long journey. He is probably smelly, covered in dirt and sweat, and may not speak her language. She does not stop to question if he may be a friend or a foe; instead, she only notices that he is thirsty and in need. She merely acts as a servant. "Drink" she says. (Genesis 24:18) Then, she "ran back to the well" as Genesis 24:58 states to draw water for his camels. And as slobbery and precocious as they may have been, she quietly serves them as well.
What we can learn: Rebekah was faithful to everyday tasks and a humble servant to those in need. She wasted no time in weighing the losses or costs, she only acted.
The saga continues: The servant follows Rebekah back to her house and tells her family that Abraham has sent him and why he has been sent. They agree that she should return with him, as it is truly God's will. However, they are not quite ready to let her go, and they ask if she can remain with them a few days more. The servant insists that they must return immediately, so they leave the decision up to her. "I will go" she simply states. (Genesis 24:65) Then, she took a veil and covered up.
What we can learn: Rebekah had tremendous faith in God's will to leave her family on such short notice to travel with an unfamiliar man to meet more unfamiliar men, one of whom she would marry. Phew. That takes guts. She also covered up with a veil, which was certainly culturally influenced at the time. We could all take note of and learn from her modesty, however, which is against our culture of this time.
The story: Abraham sends his servant to seek a wife for Isaac from Abraham's homeland.
When he arrives there after several days' journey, Rebekah is at the well, drawing water for her family. As unglamorous and mundane as the task was, she was faithful to her work. Rebekah notices Abraham's servant, who has just completed a long journey. He is probably smelly, covered in dirt and sweat, and may not speak her language. She does not stop to question if he may be a friend or a foe; instead, she only notices that he is thirsty and in need. She merely acts as a servant. "Drink" she says. (Genesis 24:18) Then, she "ran back to the well" as Genesis 24:58 states to draw water for his camels. And as slobbery and precocious as they may have been, she quietly serves them as well.
What we can learn: Rebekah was faithful to everyday tasks and a humble servant to those in need. She wasted no time in weighing the losses or costs, she only acted.
The saga continues: The servant follows Rebekah back to her house and tells her family that Abraham has sent him and why he has been sent. They agree that she should return with him, as it is truly God's will. However, they are not quite ready to let her go, and they ask if she can remain with them a few days more. The servant insists that they must return immediately, so they leave the decision up to her. "I will go" she simply states. (Genesis 24:65) Then, she took a veil and covered up.
What we can learn: Rebekah had tremendous faith in God's will to leave her family on such short notice to travel with an unfamiliar man to meet more unfamiliar men, one of whom she would marry. Phew. That takes guts. She also covered up with a veil, which was certainly culturally influenced at the time. We could all take note of and learn from her modesty, however, which is against our culture of this time.
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