Motivation: Fear or Love?

People living in the modern world can easily fall into a trap of living in fear. I might choose to go to class because I'm afraid I'll fail if I don't. I turn in homework assignments because I fear that my grade will suffer as a result. I might fake kindness or agree with a person even when disagree because I'm afraid of offending them. I go to work because I'm afraid of losing my job and not being able to support myself. Fear. It's a strong motivator. But if our lives revolve around fear alone, we're missing half the picture. Fear causes us to live reactionary lives- our choices are based only on events thrown at us. We stop creating, inventing, thinking, pondering- and begin only existing. What is the bare minimum I must do in order to get by? This is a reaction to what is expected of us- how do I escape life unscathed, without offending, without making too much noise. This time of the semester, I find myself living in a lot of fear. I fear that if I don't pass Biology, I will fail. I fear I may not graduate. This leads to more fears of not getting a job, not being able to pay back my student loans, etc. Fear, fear, fear. To some extent, I may realize that my fears are irrational- that everything will work out just fine, but this does not keep me from being fearful.

Fear is stifling for the Christian. It chokes the spirit. It keeps one passive, a bystander in life, not a full participant. We are called to be bold- to make some noise- to stand up and speak out. I fear that if I don't pray, I will not grow spiritually. My eternal salvation may be in jeopardy because my soul could drift very far without constant dialogue with its Creator. And yet, the project that is due tomorrow seems more pressing than eternity because it's more immediate- the consequences are sooner coming. Anything that happens on this earth is more immediate than eternity- that does not mean it should have priority. The challenge as Christians is to find balance in our daily life so that everything we do, say, and think becomes a prayer rising like incense before God. It doesn't matter if our efforts seem imperfect- if we offer them with a pure heart, God will accept them. But it can't stop there. Setting aside some time every day- even if it only starts with 15 minutes a day- is invaluable in spiritual life.

"I don't have time to pray" we fall into the trap of thinking. But somehow, we all find time for every other "necessary" part of life: school, work, shopping, paying bills, etc. And modern life tempts us into thinking there is something lazy about prayer- after all, we're not really "doing" anything. But the Christian who only joins service clubs, social groups, and even bible studies may fall into the habit of doing. Even if they do these things in good faith and heart- they are still lacking. If they do not take time- make time to go directly to the Source, they will become discouraged. Their efforts will become selfishly motivated. They will easily be disheartened by the imperfections of themselves and others and begin seeking approval from those around them instead of their Maker. We must not let activity, even if it's Christian activity, keep us from quiet contemplative prayer.

One of my pet peeves is to hear, "Well, all we can do is pray." Shame! Prayer is not "all" we can do- it's the most powerful thing we can ever hope to do! We are worthless without it. All of our actions and hopes and good faith can become corrupt if we do not turn our hearts to prayer. If we would only put away our narrow-mindedness for an instant and realize the value of prayer. We cannot even begin to appreciate how powerful prayer is. For through prayer, we do not change God- he changes us- he transforms us into vessels, into instruments.

And so, this Advent, and during this time of particular stress and bustle of final exams, let us look upon prayer not as an obligation, but as a beautiful privilege and source of power, hope, strength, and renewal. Let us constantly seek God as welcoming, loving, always ready to love and forgive and hold us. He is not our faculty advisor nor is he our professor. He is not with the University Police waiting to pass out parking tickets. He is God almighty, and prayer is not just another requirement on his sacred syllabus. He yearns to speak with us through prayer, to communicate his will to us. Let us respond to him out of love, holy fear, not human fear. Amen.